I sit here now, a few short months (ok, eight months) after crossing the finish line in Kirk Yetholm, and I think…

Was that really me?

Did I actually do that?

It almost doesn’t feel real.

I look back at the race & struggle to reconcile the person in those memories with the person sitting here now. I wonder where I found the strength, the determination & the sheer stubbornness to keep going when I was so completely broken.

The anger I felt in the Cheviots didn’t last long. Slowly, quietly, it dissolved into something softer. My race may not have ended with the joy or triumph finish that I had imagined, but once the disappointment faded, pride began to take its place.

I ran & walked 264 miles along the Pennine Way from Edale to Kirk Yetholm in 127 hours, on just eight hours of sleep.

For long stretches, I was entirely self-sufficient, responsible for every decision, every problem, every step forward. I managed myself well. I kept moving when stopping would have been easier. When every part of my body, & at times my mind, begged me to quit, I continued.

Somewhere along that trail, I discovered just how strong, determined, tenacious & stubborn I really am.

And yet, even now, it feels surreal. I read my own story and wonder who that person is.

Who is the woman who climbed Pen-y-Ghent, scrambled up Cauldron Snout by headtorch, slept on rocks & crossed vast, fog-covered moorland alone in the middle of the night?

Surely not the quiet, shy girl who once doubted herself at every turn.

Not the girl who held herself back, who stayed small, who didn’t try in case she failed, or worse, in case people noticed.

But perhaps that is exactly who she is.

Because in many ways, I wasn’t just running the Spine Race for who I am now.

I was running for who I used to be.

I ran for the teenage girl who skipped PE for an entire year because she believed she wasn’t sporty & didn’t want anyone to see her come last.

I ran for the eighteen-year-old who tried to get fit by running around her local park, stopped four times in the first kilometre & never went back because she decided she simply wasn’t a runner.

I ran for the quiet girl in her 20s who never spoke up, never stepped forward & never allowed herself to take up space.

I ran for the version of me who had dreams but lacked belief.

Somewhere between Edale and Kirk Yetholm, step by relentless step, that belief began to grow. Not suddenly. Not dramatically. Just slowly, almost unnoticed, like progress so often is.

I proved to myself that I can do hard things. That strength is not loud or fearless, but patient & persistent. That courage sometimes looks like nothing more than putting one foot in front of the other when quitting would be easier.

Without doubt, it was the hardest thing I have ever done.

But it taught me something I will carry far beyond the Pennine Way.

Because when I think back now, the story doesn’t really begin at the finish line in Kirk Yetholm. It begins much earlier, with a girl who didn’t believe she was capable, standing quietly at the start of something she wasn’t sure she deserved to attempt.

And maybe that’s why it still feels unreal.

Because the person who crossed that finish line didn’t appear overnight.

She was simply the same girl who once stood at the beginning, still unsure, but finally willing to take the first step anyway.

And that’s my story.

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Odds & Ends to finish

Kit I used: What I wore

I’m always intrigued by other people’s kit choices for long races like this. I find it fascinating and have picked up several great recommendations over the years simply from reading other runners’ blogs.

I used hundreds of pieces of kit throughout the race, but these were some of the key items.

Pack: Ultimate Direction 30L Fastpackher

Whilst I didn’t love this pack, it did the job. There was plenty of space for mandatory kit, but when fully loaded the weight sat heavily on my shoulders. The waist strap felt fairly ineffective & the pockets were difficult to access whilst wearing it.

If I were to do this race again, I would definitely explore other pack options.

Pack: Geeky Hiker Front Pouch

A superb bit of kit. I kept everything I wanted, quick & easy access to in here: my phone, headphones, antibac hand gel, tissues, mints, suncream & snacks. It also has handy loops for stashing poles, which proved far easier than trying to secure them back onto the UD pack.

Poles: Black Diamond Carbon Z

From Hardraw onwards, these were almost constantly in my hands, only stowed for longer downhills & flatter sections. They’re poles; they do their job. I’m not generally a fan, but for this race, they were invaluable.

Watch: Garmin Fenix 7

I cannot fault this watch. Whilst it recorded the activity in the background, I turned off most data screens, using it mainly for time checks, heart rate during the early stages, navigation & feed alerts. The battery life was excellent & navigation was faultless.

Light: Ledlenser MH10 Headtorch

A superb headtorch. Bright, comfortable & with excellent battery life. As I only needed it for around six hours each night, a single charge lasted several days.

Shoes: Hoka Speedgoat 6

My go-to trail shoe for several years. Extremely comfortable & reliable across most terrain when comfort is the priority. They performed superbly & I genuinely cannot fault them. I also had a pair of Inov-8 Trailflys in my drop bag as backup.

DexShell Waterproof Socks

I wore several pairs up to Bellingham, where I eventually ran out of clean ones & switched to standard socks. I was very glad of them during damp overnight sections on the moors & I’m certain they helped keep my feet in far better condition than many others’ until quite late in the race.

Montane Spine Waterproof Jacket

Rarely needed, but I was completely confident it would have kept me dry had conditions changed. Worn briefly in Edale before the start & again for a few hours between Tan Hill & Middleton.

Montane Spirit Lite Waterproof Trousers

Mandatory kit. They never left my pack.

Montane Fireball Insulated Jacket

My absolute favourite piece of kit! I wore it every night once temperatures dropped. I also carried a spare Lite version in my drop bag.

Montane Women’s Protium Lite Hooded Pull-On Fleece

A brilliant layer. Lightweight yet warm. This went on first each evening, followed by the Fireball an hour or two later. With both layers & their hoods, I stayed comfortably warm even when moving slowly in bitter winds across the moors.

Montane Slipstream Thermal Women’s Trail Running Tights

Part of the mandatory kit, but never worn.

Montane Prism Dry Line Waterproof Mitts

I carried Decathlon waterproof gloves to meet mandatory kit requirements (gloves with fingers were required), but I strongly prefer mitts with thin liners. You might not expect gloves or mitts to be necessary in summer, but the nights were cold & I wore these nightly.

What can I say… I clearly like Montane kit.

Unbranded Windproof Jacket

Picked up in a sale for £10 about ten years ago, this turned out to be an absolute bargain. A perfect in-between layer when I needed a little warmth but not a fleece or full jacket.

Shorts, T-shirts & Sports Bras

I rotated through various shorts & T-shirts throughout the race. Nothing particularly technical or heavily branded, aside from the Icebreaker T-shirt I started in. Decathlon shorts, old race T-shirts & even a merino top from Aldi all performed perfectly well. Sports bras were simple Decathlon crop tops. No complaints at all.

Next time, I would invest in lightweight UV tops to better protect my skin from the sun.

The Extras

Hundreds of buffs, liner gloves, a visor, sunglasses… and countless small items that quietly did their job without ever demanding attention.

Like every runner, I obsessed over kit before the race, wondering what would work & what wouldn’t. In reality, most of it simply faded into the background, doing exactly what it was meant to do while I got on with the much harder task of keeping myself moving north.

Some pieces I’d change next time. Some I wouldn’t leave home without. But all of it became part of the story of a long walk across Britain that, somehow, turned into something far bigger than just a race.

©Official Spine Photography – Much of my kit on show!

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Food, what I ate…

Of course, kit is only half the story; the other essential element in keeping me moving north was food.

I had an hourly alert on my watch to remind me to eat. I tried very hard not to ignore it, even during my lowest moments.

On the trail

• Peanut Butter & Jam wraps. I pre-made a batch of about 20 that lasted me until day three.
• (Un)toasted tea cakes
• Potato cakes
• Graze flapjacks in a variety of flavours
• Nakd Bars in a variety of flavours
• Soreen Malt Loaf
• Mini oat bars (technically baby food!)
• Salted peanuts, pretzels, raisins & almonds.
• Bananas
• Tailwind in one of my flasks & I carried a small bottle of squash to add some flavour to water.
• Whenever I had access to hot water, I made up some instant oatmeal & a sugary coffee (Taylor’s coffee bags for the win!)

At the checkpoints

• Hebden Bridge – A plain baked potato & a small portion of vegan pasta.
• Hardraw – Vegan chilli with rice when I arrived, oatmeal & coffee before I left.
• Middleton – At least four rounds of baked beans on toast
• Alston – Another four plus rounds of baked beans on toast…
• Bellingham – Four baked potatoes with beans, a vegan sausage & a handful of satsumas. Baked beans featured heavily…!

Food, much like my kit, became less about enjoyment & more about function. In the early miles, I paid attention to flavours & choices, but as the days blurred together, eating simply became another task on the checklist. 

Eat because the watch told me to. Eat because I knew I had to, not because I wanted to. Some things tasted incredible in the moment, others were forced down purely out of necessity, but every bite was fuel for the next step forward.

Looking back, I probably didn’t eat enough, something that undoubtedly contributed to the darker moments later in the race. But despite that, my body kept going, sustained by a strange mix of planning, stubbornness & whatever calories I could persuade myself to consume along the way.

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Top 3 Moments

1. Climbing Cauldron Snout in the middle of the night, lit only by my headtorch.
2. Early morning light on Hadrian’s Wall.
3. Sunrise on the Cheviots.

Sunrise on the Cheviots